Intimacy between two people grows from an interest in each other. If you are no longer interested in your partner, you will lose this bit of intimacy that keeps your relationship alive. There are different kinds of intimacy. When we are emotionally intimate, we share our thoughts and feelings by talking together. We women need this kind of intimacy before we can be physically intimate, otherwise we will feel used.
How do we get our emotional intimacy back?
First of all, we need to get closer to each other, share feelings and get to know each other again. Keep track of your partner’s life, know what he has to do that day, if there is something he is looking forward to or hoping to avoid. Get back to this in the evening and check how his day was.
Be a careful listener. When your partner is telling something, try to understand how he feels about things as well just the facts that he is telling. Do not jump to conclusions, but listen to what he is really saying.
Ask questions as if you just met each other. If you are in a long lasting relationship it can be easy to say that you know all about each other. But is this true? Do you know what his favorite part of the day is? Do you know what he really thinks about what you are blogging about? Do you know what he loves most about you? Or what the strangest thing is that he has ever done?
Show your appreciation a little more when your partner does something that you approve of. Do not take your relationship for granted and do not that that he knows what you like or want.
Spend time together. With full-time jobs, kids, sports, hobbies and more, we often leave each other in the last place. Honest, when was the last time that you made your partner a priority and moved other things?
Barbara Cartland
How about physical intimacy?
Sexual relationships also change over a course of time. When you are just together you both feel like having sex or simply making out all the time. But if you are together for a long time, the desire is not as it used to be, but the main reason is probably that every day life takes over.
Instead of a standard kiss when leaving the house, give each other an intimate hug and look each other in the eyes.
Men and women both like to hear that they are looking good. Compliments on physical appearance are eroticizing. Don’t leave the remarks to the female equivalent of the construction worker, but tell your husband that he’s looking great, show that you are physically attracted.
Don’t wait with sex until you both spontaneously feel like it. Because then you can be in for a long wait. Sometimes you just need to get started and get into it later. And it is not wrong either to give sex as a present, even if you are not that much into it at all. Relationships are about giving and sharing.
Take the initiative a little more. No one likes to be the one that always takes the initiative, but no likes to be the one waiting for the other to start either. Break patterns and do something unexpected sometimes.
Dr. Berman
When reading this it looks fairly simple to spice up your relationship and be intimate again, but in reality it is not as simple as 1-2-3. It takes attention, time, patience and trouble to work on a love relationship. But it is so worth it, when love, passion and romance triumph in a long lasting relationship.
