Without Dash

Nowadays, we talk more about sex than ever before, and girls have lots more freedom than half a century ago, but the Kinsey Institute reports that women now have less sex than women in the 1950s. Women simply do not have time for anymore and often find it “one more thing on their to-do list”.

According to research, more than half of the people are not happy with their sex lives. Many of the problems are surprisingly caused by gender differences. Men and women experience sex in a different way and often find it hard to communicate their desires or issues to the other gender.

Husbands complain that wives only want sex when all the circumstances are just right, which is not often. And they find headaches, kids sleeping next doors and busy schedules only excuses. Meanwhile, wives complain that they cannot be turned on like a radio by twisting and pushing a few buttons.

One of the gender differences that causes problems in the bedroom is the fact that men need about five to ten minutes to reach an orgasm, while women need at least ten minutes more. Besides that, sex for a woman is not exclusively a physical experience, which causes confusion for many men. Misunderstanding of different perceptions of sex is a problem for many couples, and overcoming this problem does not appear to be easy.

A healthy sex live is good for the relationship, but an unhealthy sex live can be very damaging as well. Women often think that they can easily live without sex and feel a stronger need for emotional attachment. Men might think the opposite. However, sex and emotions are very much interwoven.

Only when a woman feels a certain emotional closeness to her husband, she is able to enjoy a sexual encounter. If there is a lack of romantic closeness, a woman will feel exploited. A man, on the other hand, can be satisfied with a brief encounter after an entire day without tender moments. We all know this and probably have experienced it at one time or another, but for some couples it has become a continuous source of irritation.

A little respect and appreciation go a long way to rev up your marriage and sex life. One of the most important things is turning towards your partner in the small things. Talk about things that interest the other. If your spouse comments on the weather, politics, a nice car or the neighbors’ dog, just a “Wow, that is great/bad/interesting” makes a big difference. A little “thank you” for putting out the garbage or walking the dog does miracles. Just like a big kiss every day, can cause major improvements to a relationship and sex life.

Start with giving your partner a big kiss at least once a day. Kissing is very important, but many couples do not kiss much anymore after the beginning of their relationship. And especially for women, it is part of the things that turns them on. Many couples kiss only when it is a lead up to sex, which makes the whole thing less attractive. Kissing for the sake of kissing turns off the pressure and helps strengthen the emotional relationship, which is the first step to a healthy sex live.

If you no longer enjoy sex as you used to, sex therapy can help building a strong and intimate relationship and re-discover an active sex life. The therapy is talk therapy and no uncanny things happen while in therapy. Of course, sex is discussed, but it is not the only topic. The therapist helps you determining and overcoming your issues, which could derive from many things, including the relationship, something from your past, or perhaps medications or hormonal imbalances. By overcoming the problems, we can learn to enjoy sex again.

Tags: Romance and Relationships