Without Dash

An old monk and a young monk are walking along a stream. At the point where the road and the stream cross, a woman is standing. She asks if the monks can help her cross the stream. The old monk does not hesitate, but carries the woman across the stream. That night, when the monks have arrived at the temple the young monk asks: “We are not allowed to mingle with women, or touch them. Why did you do it?” The old monk answered: “I carried the woman across the stream and let go of her on the other side. Apparently, you are still carrying her with you.”

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A boy goes waterskiing for the first time. His father is driving the speedboat. As the boat moves forward, the tow rope is pulled straight and amazingly the boy is lifted from the water. Not for long. He knees don’t hold and he dives head first in the water. His father turns the boat to the spot where the boy fell to pick him up. But once arrived there, the boy is not in the expected place. A quick look around showed that the boy was still holding on to the tow rope and being dragged behind the boat. The father cut the engines and let the boy swim back to the boat himself. Then he said: “Remember when you fall, you have to let go of the rope!”

Letting go is an ancient wisdom. Letting go is humble acceptance. Letting go is central to healing. Letting go is freedom. Letting go is a life skill. But letting go is also not easy.

We all have things that we hold on to, but would do much better without. There is no reason to hold on to fear, grief, grudges, disappointments, depression or addictions, but many people do anyway. The reason that we find it very hard to let go, is because it is a habit to hold on and it is very difficult to change habits. Some people find it really hard to let go of relationships and cannot move on after a separation, or can’t let go of loved ones who crave more freedom. Other people find it really hard to let go of their material possessions.

Here are 10 lessons on letting go:

1. Be conscious of what or who you are holding on to. Only then can you let go of it.
2. Picking up different thoughts or feelings to divert our attention is not the same thing as letting go.
3. Fight emotions physically. Letting go brings about many emotions. Physical exercise helps releasing the emotions.
4. We mistake fear for a shield of self-protection, but a scary condition is not fearful. Your reaction is. If you become conscious of your fear, you can change the relationship with it.
5. Let go of trying to change people, because you are what is bothering you about them. Every conflict has two sides. Does the other really need to change? Or do you need to change your perspective?
6. Love and attachment are two different things. The greatest love in fact, is letting go. Love is detached.
7. Hope is beautiful, but also works against us. Hope makes us hold on to things that might not happen. Be honest with yourself.
8. We love change, as long as nothing changes. Changing knickers or changing jobs or homes is not letting go. The only real change is when you change your inner self.
9. Let go of ‘shoulds’. The more we hold the idea of how things should be, the more we struggle with events as they are.
10. Let go of your sorry self. You are responsible for your inner self and the outer world is just a reflection of that.

Tags: self improvement