Without Dash

Did you know that giving to others not only makes you happy, but healthy as well? Several independent studies have proven that people who give live longer. Being kind does not only affect your mental well-being, but also your physical health. Even people with a chronic disease seem to benefit from focusing on others and trying to help others.

It is a fact that while you are giving to and caring for others you do not have much time to be stressed, angry, jealous or feel other negative emotions. You also build confidence by helping others and increase a sense of greater happiness. But apparently, by helping others, certain hormonal and neurological changes take place, which in turn decreases the levels of blood pressure, stomach acid, cholesterol counts, and strengthens the immune system. This good feeling is called “the helper’s high”.

Every religion teaches the importance of giving and helping each other. Giving is as old as human kind, but only in the last years we see it becoming a trend again, and only in the last years we are more aware of the benefits for ourselves when we share and give. Personally, I am a strong believer in “what goes around, comes around” and if you give, you do not lose but gain something, whether it are reciprocal gains or personal satisfaction.. In the end, good things happen only to good people. But I often find it hard to help and give in this age of selfishness. You feel people staring when you want to be kind, and almost hear them wondering: “What does she want from us…”, or “What’s behind all this…”, and “Can’t she mind her own business…” So, here I would like to write a few things that we can all do today to help others for free and without intruding.

• Respect others. Do not judge others, but enjoy differences. Try to be tolerant and understanding. In conversation, focus more on understanding others than trying to be understood.
• Show gratitude and appreciation to others that help you. All you ‘do-it-yourself and know-it-better people’ out there, do not be embarrassed when somebody helps you, but appreciate what do (or try to do) for you. ( I recently thanked a client who pointed out an error to me. If I, the perfect perfectionist, can do it, so can you!)
• Learn how to forgive. The hardest part of forgiving is not understanding forgiveness. Forgiveness is not about accepting one’s behavior, or forgetting an issue. Forgiveness is about you. Learn how to let go of pain and control your own life.
• Show courage and stimulate others to show courage. Set goals to improve the world, approach problems with optimism, and face your fears. Only then will you be able to really help others.
• Be loyal to friends and partners. Nobody is perfect and it is impossible to find a friend or partner that meets all criteria that you have set. Do not set very high expectations of others. Do not let other people’s problems stand in the way of your friendship. “A friend in need is a friend indeed.”
• Learn how to listen. We all want to be heard and understood, so we should all understand that others have a need to talk as well. Listening to others shows that they are worth something. Sympathize with others. Ask open questions. Try not to talk about yourself for once. Summarize what others tell you or get back to the problem or feeling later, to show that you did listen and care.
• Share your knowledge and experience with younger people. Stimulate others to get the best out of themselves, or let them benefit from your mistakes.

If you can’t give big, give small. If you do not know how to help strangers, help a friend. By helping others, you can help yourself.

Tags: self improvement