Men and sex: Myths and facts

#1: Men always feel like having sex.
We all think that men have nothing else on their mind than sex. They are supposedly thinking about sex every 7 seconds, or so. This might be true of some men, especially during puberty, but it is also a myth that many men like to keep alive. It is simply taboo for a man not to feel like having sex. Besides this, we women do not appreciate a man who does not want sex either, because we like to blame ourselves. Maybe I’m not beautiful enough… or too fat… or perhaps he is gay… Fact is not all men feel like having sex all the time.

#2: Men have a higher need for sex than women.
When comparing the sex drive of men and women, we cannot overlook the testosterone factor. And the fact that female hormones are more likely to depress the sex drive than stimulate it. So, seen from that point of view, men are automatons and women need some outside influence, like a new love or a sexy party. In general, we can say that men have a more constant need for sex, while women with a permanent high sex drive are quite rare. However, women have high peaks and low troughs, like during ovulation, menstruation or pregnancies. During a high peak a woman can have a very high need for sex.

A nymphomaniac is a women as obsessed with sex as the average man.
Mignon McLaughlin

#3: Men are naturally polygamous and women are monogamous.
How often do you hear or read about men cheating on their wives or girlfriends? And how often do you hear that it is the wife cheating on the husband? Won’t you think that men are not as monogamous as women are? This myth keeps itself alive by the pressure it puts on women to be monogamous. Fact is that women can be cheating just as well. However, women like to justify their reasons for infidelity: “In my case it is different…” meaning that they had all kind of beautiful feelings that they could not resist. As if men are only capable of having shallow sex and nothing else.

#4: Sex is a more emotional act for women than it is for men.
Try to prove that! Emotions are not easy to compare. Besides that, there are enough women who enjoy uncomplicated one-night stands as much as some men do.

#5: Pain while having sex is a typical woman’s issue.
We do not have exclusivity on pain while having sex. Men can have it too! Often the pain is caused by the foreskin and in some cases it can be so painful that men avoid having sex altogether.

#6: Sex addictions are an exclusive men problem.
This is quite true. Men are easy prey when it comes to sex and exploiters of internet porn or sex lines are not focusing on men without a reason. Sex addictions usually come together with communication problems and are often seen in lonely men or men who had a lonely and miserable childhood. Women, on the other hand, are easily addicted to wrong men and addicted to love and romance.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, ‘the man goes on top and the woman underneath’. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds.”
Joan Rivers

#7: Men can have issues with sexuality because they are scared of emancipating women.
Men do not have problems with emancipating women, at least nothing related to sexuality. However, it are the only sons of emancipated mums who are the ones with the issues. As a boy they had to listen a few times too often how to treat a girl respectfully and how to make the happiness of their wives priority. These men end up seeing women as delicate creatures who should be placed on a pedestal and treat her as a goddess. Hearing their mum’s words in their head, some men find it impossible to have wild sex.

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